Mama Of The Month

Meet our fourth Mama of the Month, Amy Bernhard! Here at TSB, we want to develop a community of supportive, inclusive and strong mamas. Each month we will be featuring a different mama with a unique story. Keep reading to learn all about this October’s Mama, Amy.

Wife, Mom, Speaker, Mentor

Helping women build online businesses without sacrificing what matters most.

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Profession? Kids? Hobbies?

 My name is Amy Bernhard. I got my bachelor’s degree from LSU and worked as a dental hygienist for four years. After four years of practicing, I felt a tug on my heart that I’m supposed to be doing something completely different. I felt a strong desire to coach women with their health, fitness, and business goals. I quit my “safe” career to pursue life as an entrepreneur in 2014. I’ve been working from home now for 6.5 years. I can honestly say that quitting my “safe” career was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

I have a step-son who is 8 years old and a little girl who is almost 2 years old. Although she’s almost two, I still feel like a brand new mom. I guess because each stage is “new” for me. I didn’t grow up around kids. I didn’t babysit. So, being a mom has been a HUGE life transition for me. 

When I’m not helping women or working, I like to journal, read a good book, nap, or eat sushi. Yes, those are my four hobbies in no particular order. Because naps change your perspective on life. 

Describe your pregnancy experience. What did you enjoy and not enjoy?

My pregnancy experience? Well, I found out I was pregnant when my husband and I had only been dating for 6 months. We eloped on our 8 month anniversary and I became a step-mom that same day. My life transitioned QUICKLY. Since I was so overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities and emotions of being a new stepmom, I really didn’t get to enjoy my pregnancy. It makes me sad to say this, but when I look back on my pregnancy, all I can think of is how anxious and fearful I was. It was so unexpected that it wasn’t something I felt even a LITTLE excited about. 

What did you least expect during your pregnancy?

 I didn’t realize how big my boobs would get. I didn’t realize how hard breastfeeding would be. Let’s be honest… Facebook and breastfeeding ads make breastfeeding look so easy. I thought I would be able to walk around and just BF at the same time. Nope. I could never get comfortable. The latching was impossible. I had severe Postpartum anxiety so I couldn’t stop food. Well, fun fact, when you don’t eat, you don’t produce milk. So, breastfeeding was short-lived. 

What do you wish you knew about pregnancy, but did not?

 I wish I knew that no matter how hard you workout during your pregnancy, you will gain fat and cellulite. I never struggled much with cellulite until I got pregnant. When you are pregnant, your body produces relaxin. Relaxin is a hormone that helps relax ligaments in the pelvis and the tissues of the cervix to prepare for childbirth. But relaxin also causes diminished collagen production. The less collagen in your skin, the more the fat stored in your body is able to push through the loosened tissues adding to cellulite!! I wish I knew that your body will product cellulite no matter what! 

What were your greatest challenges during your postpartum period?

 My greatest challenge was comparison and struggling to stomach food. I have always struggled with anxiety my whole life. But after having my daughter, my anxiety was at an all-time high. I struggled to be in social settings. I struggled to leave her. I couldn’t sleep at night because I was afraid she would stop breathing. It was debilitating anxiety that is hard to describe unless you went through it for yourself. Since I couldn’t eat for the first 4-5 months, that’s when I gained the most fat. My metabolism tanked and instead of seeing results, I regressed physically. 

Give us three pieces of advice you would wish to share with other moms, it can be regarding pregnancy or postpartum!

 If I could give my old self some advice, I would tell myself to ask for help. When someone asks if they can do anything for you, take the help. 

Stop trying to get to the gym right away to get your body back. I would put my mental health first and foremost before my physical appearance. 

Fed is best. If your mental health is going downhill because you are struggling with breastfeeding, it’s most important to get your baby fed and to have a mentally healthy momma before anything else. 

What was the biggest lesson you learned in parenthood?

 Right when you think you are finding your groove and understanding your child, they change. Some days you feel like you know what you are doing and are winning at life. Other days you feel like you shouldn’t be a parent at all because you feel like you just suck as a mom. Parenthood has helped me to not judge other mom’s because we are all just doing the best we can and to survive. It’s also taught me to roll with the punches. 

How do you “balance” your career while taking care of your family?

As hard as this was for me in the beginning, I’ve learned that I can’t be a great mom, a great businesswoman, a great wife, and a great coach by myself, with a clean house, neatly folded laundry, and a fresh blowout. I outsource the things that don’t bring me energy, joy, or income. 

What does the term “mompreneur” mean to you?

This means that instead of me cutting our grass like I used to do which usually takes me an hour and a half. We pay for a lawn care service to cut our grass for $35. I justify this because I know that I can make triple of what I pay him in that hour it would take me to cut my own grass. 

I have a housekeeper that comes once a week for 3 hours. 

I absolutely HATE Christmas shopping and gift wrapping. So, I have an assistant that helps me with online shopping and will wrap my gifts for the holidays. 

I have a nanny that helps me with my toddler three days a week so that I can focus on work without distractions. 

Because I work from home, I have set “working hours” which is from 9:30am-4:30pm. I do not work before or after these working hours. When I’m with my children, I want to be fully present without distractions. 

Since I’ve started outsourcing things that suck the energy from me, I’ve been able to grow my business in a much shorter time than when I was doing everything myself. It’s also helped me to feel like I’m a better mother because when we use the unique gifts that our creator has given us, it fills our emotional cup. Each day, I give it 100% and I truly feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose. When I feel fulfilled, I am a better mother to my children. 

What does the term “mompreneur” mean to you?

This means a person who wears many hats. She has a purpose outside of being a mom, but everything she does is to help better the life and the future for her children. 

 How has fitness/wellness served you during your pregnancy and postpartum?

. I am finally falling in love with the process again. Lately, I’ve found a new love for fitness. Before I had my daughter, I used to work out to get results. Now that I’m a mom, I work out for my mental health. I work out, because I want to feel stronger and more, energized to keep up with my children. I’m no longer working out for results, but to simply feel more confident with the day to day activities. It’s my “me” time. 

What is your form of self-care?

 100% napping

How do you deal with mom guilt?

This is something I still struggle with. I dealt with mom guilt just this morning as I dropped my daughter off at school and she was screaming when I left. It was so hard to walk away from her when she just wants to stay with me. I felt extremely anxious when I got in the car. As I drove off, I began to cry. I felt like I wasn’t a good mom for walking away from my daughter and leaving her at school while she was crying for me. But when I got home, I opened my journal and just began to talk to God. I wrote out all of my worries, my guilt, my fears, my insecurities, and cast it all on Him. Journaling as being the most powerful and effective outlet for me as a mom and to heal from mom guilt. 

Do you feel there is room for improvement in pregnancy and postpartum information and care in North America?

 Yes. This is an understatement.

We’re grateful for mamas like Amy that share their struggles and successes with us! Eager to learn more? Be sure to check her out on Instagram! Have a mama you love? DM us on Instagram.